WWE Royal Rumble 2012 Predictions

Hey everyone, don't mind me.  I had a few bad days this week, so no Grave Issues or WWEekly Wrap-Up.  Please don't ask.  I did, however, want to put my Royal Rumble predictions out there, so here we go.

My initial thoughts on tonight's Royal Rumble are that it's basically a two-match card with the WWE Championship match between champion CM Punk and Dolph Ziggler with, as Jim Ross puts him, the Funkhauser as the special guest referee.  Now, I hate matches with special guest referees, but more on that later.   The other match to watch is, of course, the Royal Rumble match, probably my favorite match of the entire year.  It's an hour long, so many names and colorful personalities enter, and somehow each one ends up having it's own unique personality unto itself.  My favorites remain the 1992 Royal Rumble, where Ric Flair won it all, and the 2004 Royal Rumble, where it had a West Side Story theme leading in and reflected it a bit with a Raw vs. SmackDown standoff at one point, followed by a gang beatdown of overly-over super heel Muhammad Hassan.

With that out of the way, let's get to predicting.  Again, I am picking winners under the assumption that there won't be any no contests or double disqualifications.  I must choose not with personal preference, but with whom I feel would drive story lines better, even if I feel the inevitable winner isn't the most talented in the ring.

World Heavyweight Championship Steel Cage Triple Threat Match (ain't that a mouthful?)
Champion Daniel Bryan vs. The Big Show vs. Mark Henry
Official Prediction:  Daniel Bryan to retain the World Heavyweight Championship

Now, it's clear to everyone that Daniel Bryan isn't winning a brawl with either of these two.  However, he is the crafty heel now, as much as I would have preferred ambiguity in his regard, and as such he'll likely make a swift and clever escape when the match nears it's end... or, he could actually physically be thrown THROUGH the cage and end up on the floor.  Heck, Big Show may punch out the door or a panel to the cage and Bryan escapes that way.  I don't see the title going back on Mark Henry so soon, especially after his lengthly reign, and I don't know if this is how they'd put the title back on Big Show, if they ever do.  Besides, this is a golden opportunity to turn Daniel Bryan into one of their biggest names and it'd be terrible to squander it... much like they did with Zack Ryder in recent weeks...

WWE Championship Match with special guest referee John Laurinaitis
Champion CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler
Official Prediction:  CM Punk to retain the WWE Championship

In our other world title match, we have the special guest referee match.  For the record, I absolutely HATE special guest referees.  They're... cheap drama, to be perfectly honest.  Typically, there is either always a good guy overcoming or a bad guy paying off the ref in some way.  One exception seems to be someone like Mick Foley whose integrity tends to make the idea of a guest ref pointless.

Anyway, I'm going with CM Punk because I think the WWE is more willing to trust him going towards WrestleMania as WWE Champion than they are Ziggler, even though I'd honestly let these two rematch AT WrestleMania.  We all know they could really use some extra oomph in the card lineup right now... seriously, Big Show vs. Shaq?  Undertaker vs. Triple H FOR A THIRD TIME?  You're not even trying anymore, are you, WWE?  Since there needs to be the belief that the Funkhauser has a chance to keep his job, I don't see him protesting too much when Punk goes for the win... or heck, Triple H may come out and become the ref himself.

John Cena vs. Kane
Official Prediction:  John Cena

As we approach WrestleMania and the main event made a year ago, we must ask ourselves... do we really care?  The Rock has been off the road for about seven-eight years now and John Cena's been in the main event scene of EVERY WrestleMania since WrestleMania XXI (21, if you wanna be technical).  We get the overexposed vs. the person who just shows up and is awarded a main event spot.  I'm not thrilled with the concept, nor have they really excited me with this in the past year.  But they won't jeopardize their main event picture by burying one of their competitors, unless this "embrace the hate" thing leads them to having Rock as a face and John Cena as a heel.  Besides, with WrestleMania being in Miami, that's likely going to be the scenario anyway... until they boo BOTH men because they find that the two can't work a good match together.  Anyway, as much as I like Kane and think he SHOULD  win so he can take back his top tier spot that he had before, the WWE isn't going to let John Cena kill what imaginary momentum they have going towards the grandest stage of them all.

The Royal Rumble Match
Official Prediction:  Chris Jericho

While you could make a strong case for Wade Barrett or Sheamus, though the Internet dirt sheets seem to be indicating that it'll be Randy Orton who wins, I think it became painfully obvious that another long-loved iconic name from the past will return from a year-plus hiatus and be rewarded for abandoning the industry with a main event spot.  This goes a long way to tell you how the company feels about their young up-and-coming talent.  Seriously, it's really sad, considering the likes of Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes, Kofi Kingston, Dolph Ziggler, and others have all participated for the whole flippin' year are getting the shaft for people like these.  So while I may not be looking forward to the inevitable outcome, I'm still looking forward to the Rumble match itself because, no matter who wins, it usually ends up being a lot of fun and a match I generally say I like to see every year.

If you're ordering the show, I hope you all enjoy it.  Still debating on whether or not I'll get it myself, but I probably will unless I talk myself out of.  Royal Rumble has been a staple of my fandom almost as much as Survivor Series has, but with only three matches in the undercard, I'm not overwhelmed.

Cheers;
Graves