WWEekly Wrap-Up: December 19, 2011

Hey guys, I got four shows to cover today, so let’s just GO!  GO!  GO!

Monday Night Raw from Norfolk, VA:  December 12, 2011

Tonight was the Slammy Awards, a useless gimmick nowadays.  I’m in a rush, so no real analysis.

Jim Ross won for “Tell Me I Did Not Just See That” Moment of the Year.  JR had a rap-off with Michael Cole for the Slammy that was just awful.  Well, JR can’t be good at EVERYTHING, I guess.  Cole got his lines right, but it was still just a bore and didn’t need to happen.  Somewhere, Drew McIntyre was thinking “this is what I lose screen time to?”

The “Holy Bleep” moment of the year went to the Big Show/Mark Henry superplex that blew up the ring.

The Big Show def. Wade Barrett via DQ

A lousy match that did nothing good for either man and didn’t really advance any storyline.

ROAD DOGG JESSE JAMES announces the “Pipe Bomb of the Year” award to CM Punk for, well, naming the award.  He had a lot of fun at John Laurinitus’s expense with a manniquen… and ruined the song “You Got The Touch” from the Transformers movie for the foreseeable future for me.  Thanks, Punk.

The “Divalicious Moment of the Year was presented by Lita, ironic since the winner of the award, Kelly Kelly (for winning the Diva’s Championship) can’t actually wrestle while Lita can.  This one I’ll focus a bit on.  The other three nominations was Natalya doing a double sharpshooter on LayCool, which was awesome, Kharma destroying Michelle McCool, which was fun, and Beth Phoenix doing a Glam Slam on Eve from the top rope, which was especially awesome and probably the best thing the Divas Division did all year.  Kelly winning the title from Brie Bella… was pathetic.  Neither Diva could wrestle, neither are interesting, and only one of them I’d say is entirely attractive.  But that’s the problem with the Divas Division, isn’t it?  Today, the WWE Divas are about being centerfolds and eye candy and not about competing in the ring.  Say what you will about women like Trish Stratus, Torrie Wilson, Lita, Melina, Gail Kim, and others, but while they looked like Playboy cover girls, they could at least perform in the ring.  Today, you got three.  Beth Phoenix, Natalya, and Kharma, and Kharma is out pregnant while Beth Phoenix and Natalya lose matches they have no business losing.  I’m hoping AJ develops quickly so we can have one more Diva who can work.  Everyone else… if they got fired tomorrow, I’d have the biggest smile knowing that they can’t waste my time anymore and credibility can return to the Divas Division.

The “OMG Moment of the Year” award went to Triple H Tombstone Piledriving The Undertaker at WrestleMania, something that, if any legitimacy were in these awards, would have gone to Punk running off with the WWE Championship or the Superstar Walkout earlier in the year.  But, being Mr. Boss’ Daughter has advantages.  No wonder he cheated on Chyna!  Why have legitimate love when you can bone the boss’ hot daughter and own the company one day?!  Eyyyyyyyyerooooooollllllllllllll!

Trips talks trash about Nash.  Next!

“Trending Star of the Year” had an interesting twist.  It was a fatal four-way where the first person to trend on Twitter got the award.  Not that I think it mattered.

Dolph Ziggler def. Zack Ryder, Cody Rhodes, and Daniel Bryan.

Oh my God, this match was a whole lot of fun on an entirely awesome level.  All four didn’t have perfect mesh, but for a Raw match to go two commercial breaks and keep interest was something to behold.  If you wanted great mainstream wrestling, this was the match you wantedto see.

Anyway, Zack Ryder won the award, but Dolph runs off with it after a sneak-attack.  Sets up Sunday pretty well.

“Game Changer of the Year” was awarded to The Rock challenging John Cena to WrestleMania.  Now, I’d have accepted it if one of the nominees wasn’t something else that shouldn’t have been nominated for something this fake.  Edge’s forced retiring.

Now… I’ve criticized the WWE over many things over the years.  Lackluster PPVs.  The Divas Division.  Devaluing their titles.  The Divas Division.  Piss-pour matches.  The Divas Division.  Their over-valuing of their inner circle of stars, such as Triple H, John Cena, Randy Orton, The Miz, and the like.  The Divas Division.  Throwing the fans’ emotions and opinions in their faces.  THE DIVAS DIVISION!  But the one thing I’ll always criticize them for and never apologize for is their use of real life situations in their storytelling.

Now, admittedly, this isn’t much storytelling, but think about it for a minute.  The WWE is saying that, with this award, Edge being forced to retire due to years of compiling injuries working for their company, injuries that threatened his very way of life, and the WWE is saying that it wasn’t nearly as important as another WrestleMania.  Someone lost their career due to medical reasons and you’re saying “Thanks, but something that hasn’t even happened yet, has had minimal impact on the company, and will have minimal impact on the company, is more important than you, an established multi-time World Champion, losing your career.”  This is why I have no problems calling the WWE product complete and utter bullshit.  I’m sorry, but that’s exactly what it is today.  Bullshit.

Years ago, I went to an autograph signing for Edge’s new book when he just turned monster-heel after his affair with Lita, yet another example of the WWE exploiting real life situations.  During my time in line, Edge laughed with, talked to, and appreciated all the fans.  He loved what he did and this gesture by the WWE is not only a big middle finger to him but to all the fans who lost one of the company’s best.  I do like watching pro wrestling, but I can’t stand WWE’s business or story practices at all lately.  When the wrestling goes, I’m probably going too.

Alberto Del Rio & The Miz def. WWE Champion CM Punk & Randy Orton

A decent match that I can’t say much about.  After the match, when Orton ran off after Barrett mid-match, Del Rio and Miz worked over Punk with a ladder.  Miz got on the mike and was even more boring than usual.  Funny… his mic skills got him to a WWE Championship and now they’re keeping him from won.  Funny ol’ world, ain’t it?

“A-Lister of the Year” went to Snooki.  Ugh.  Well, competing in a match at WrestleMania will do that.  Still think the Muppets were more entertaining, though.

Sheamus vs. Jinder Mahal went to a no contest because of a pre-emptive strike before the match.

“Superstar of the Year,” as supposedly voted on by the fans, went to CM Punk and was accepted by John Lauranitis.  I’m sorry, but this guy’s just not interesting (Lauranitis).  Seriously.  If he’s supposed to be a super heel, he’s the most boring super heel of them all.  On the upside, at least you can listen to him talk… if you can hear him.  More than I can say for Michael Cole.

John Cena vs. Mark Henry ended in a No Contest.

Simply put, Kane returned with his mask and an iron helmet over it.  Guess someone was playing Skyri… you know what?  No!  I’m making a stand!  NO MORE SKYRIM JOKES!  PLEASE!  No more arrows to knees!  No more Fus Ro Dahs!  No more bastardizing dragons!  NO MORE!  These jokes have had less shelf life than GameCubes and duct tape jokes when the Wii came out!  Seriously!

Oh yeah.  Kane chokeslammed John Cena and a good time was had by all.

Raw was terrible.  Five matches, one of them didn’t last five minutes, one of them didn’t start, and one of them didn’t end.  Not a good showing, especially for a three hour show.

I give the December 12, 2011, Monday Night Raw… one and a half out of five stars.

WWE Tribute to the Troops fromFort Bragg, NC:  December 13, 2011

The WWE had their second Tribute to the Troops show outside of the Middle East.  This one was even in an arena so you couldn’t even tell you were in a military facility.  I dunno… I still miss the use of an actual Iraqi or Afghan US military base for the backdrop, but last year’s outdoor event at a Texan base was pretty good too.  This felt like another WWE show.  Still, it's great that they do this for the troops and their families and they do deserve props for this.  But with the recent pull-out of Iraq, I'm wondering how many more of these will be in the pipeline.  I'd like to see it continue post-war simply for doing an awesome gesture.  On the plus side, we got lots of matches to work with and they were pretty decent ones… for the most part.  Let’s just get started.

We had the President of the United States, Barack Obama, give a special tribute to the troops via video, which was nice.  Lilian Garcia sang the National Anthem, which was awesome.  There were celebrities throughout the night with shout-outs or live performances, which was varied.  The worst was George Wallace.  It reminded me that comedy is a dead art today.  Call me old-fashioned, but today's comics think just saying things in a funny way will make it funny.  Either that, or they have to use excessive swearing, shout at the top of their lungs, or be offensive to certain sects so everyone else will find it funny.  This is why I stopped watching Family Guy and Simpsons.  It wasn't funny.  It was just boring.  He did say that in 2012 he'd give all service men and women free tickets to his show.  Hopefully, the troops will have be able to find something better in Las Vegas.  Nickelback and Mary J. Blige were just forgetful at best.

Okay, the matches.

Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett ended in a double count-out

It wasn’t bad and whetted the pallet for the pay-per-view, especially when David Otunga, interfering afterwards, got put through a table for his troubles.

Zack Ryder def. Jack Swagger

Good match, Sgt. Slaughter was there.  He put the Camel Clutch on Swagger after the match for messing with him.

Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, Alicia Fox, and Maria Menounos def. Beth Phoenix, Natalya, and the Bella Twins.

Yes, you read that right.  A daytime newscaster won a match, even getting the pinfall.  For crying out loud, WWE, keep the celebrities out of matches already!  Just because it worked with Snooki doesn’t mean it’d work every time.  Seriously, the Divas Division is already a pathetic mess and this doesn’t help matters.

Daniel Bryan def. Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes

Good match, ended with Booker T interfering.  Good stuff, getting fans read for Sunday’s bout between he and Rhodes.

Primo & Epico w/Rosa Mendez def. WWE Tag Team Champions Air Boom in a non-title match

A good at geam match,   I’m glad to see Epico sticking around, glad to see Rosa do anything, and glad to see Primo escaping Superstars and NXT.  Spoiler alert, this won’t end well for them.

Sheamus def. Drew McIntyre

Wait, DREW MCINTYRE?!  REALLY!  AWESOME!  Oh… he lost a virtual squash match… never mind, false alarm…

John Cena, The Big Show, & WWE Champion CM Punk def. Alberto Del Rio, The Miz, & World Heavyweight Champion Mark Henry

Basic six-man, but not bad.  Hulk Hogan, I mean, John Cena, got the pinfall for the fans to go home happy, ending with a big thank you to the soldiers, rightfully so.

It was a decent show for the troops, but it was too celebrity-bogged in my opinion.

I give Tribute to the Troops 2011… three and a half out of five stars.

Friday Night SmackDown from Rraleigh, NC:  December 16, 2011

Again, we’re just getting into it.  It was considerably better than Raw, though.  Joy, the status quo is back!

Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes def. Daniel Bryan

An okay match.  Not as good as their previous two, but not bad.  The point was to fuel the fire between Rhodes and Booker T for Sunday, so it accomplished that, I guess.

Alicia Fox def. Natalya

I gotta wonder if Natalya said or did something that’s causing her to job out to all the worthless talents on the Divas roster.  The match stunk, end of story, WWE, get some new Divas STAT!  Or better yet, don’t mistreat people like Gail Kim or randomly fire people like Melina.

Primo & Epico w/Rosa Mendez def. The Usos

It was basic.  Next!

Big Show def. Jack Swagger

It wasn’t bad.  Basic, but Swagger didn’t look like a shmuck, which I’m happy to have seen.  What was fun, though, was seeing Mark Henry attack the cameraman afterwards.  I love random violence in wrestling, don’t you?

Sheamus def. Jinder Mahal

It was quick and boring.  Next!

Randy Orton & Zack Ryder def. Wade Barrett & United States Champion Dolph Ziggler w/Vickie Guerrero

A good main event that had some good spots.  Cookie cutter, yes, but if the cookie is still good, why break the mold?  Better yet, these four can work a match.  While I still say Randy Orton’s ring skills leave a lot to be desired, he can still carry a match.  Again, Ziggler does no wrong in the ring lately and Ryder has shown he’s deserving of his push by busting his chops through most of the match.  And, of course, Barrett is no slouch in the slightest.  I predict he WILL be a champion some time in the next year… it may be late in the year, but I’ll stand by that prediction.

I give Friday Night SmackDown for December 16, 2011… three and a half out of five stars.

WWE TLC from Baltimore, MD:  December 18, 2011

Yeah, we’re covering Sunday’s PPV this time!  I wasn’t going to, but when I was basically given it as an early Christmas Gift, I decided to hold off my blog to include it and try something new.  After all, Sunday is the seventh day of the week to me and PPVs should be included when applicable.  Let me know what you guys think.

TLC was another good pay-per-view with fun matches and a subtle hint of story, which I liked.

United States Championship match:  Zack Ryder def. Champion Dolph Ziggler w/Vickie Guerrero to WIN the United States Championship

What an awesome way to start the event with an awesome match between two truly awesome superstars.  Both were truly in sync and didn’t disappoint.  The high points were awesome, the emotion ran high, and it was something you could truly enjoy.  Just to add to the emotion, Ryder’s dad was in the crowd, hugging his son after the match.  Good stuff.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match:  Champions Air Boom def. Primo & Epico w/Rosa Mendez

Another decent match that wasn’t advertised beforehand.  Good stuff, maybe a little basic, but it got helped with Rosa dancing pretty much the whole time… I’m gonna like Rosa at ringside, aren’t I?  I hope this doesn’t end Primo & Epico’s push because I think they can be just as exceptional as Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne.  Good match.

Divas Championship Match:  Champion Beth Phoenix def. Kelly Kelly

Another unadvertised match.  Basic Divas match… bad.  Some of Beth’s moves were totally brutal looking through and I actually got a lot of joy out of seeing that happen to Kelly Kelly in-ring.  Surprising finish though, as it wasn’t a Beth Phoenix finisher that won it.  It was a reverse electric chair.  Huh.  Okay then.

Tables Match:  Randy Orton def. Wade Barrett

An okay match.  Barrett looked sharp as usual.  Actually, on Orton… Orton looked darn lazy at some points.  He just seemed like he was just going along for the ride.

Sledgehammer over a Ladder Match:  Triple H def. Kevin Nash

As a Kevin Nash fan, I’m kind of bummed to hear that this may be his last match.  Anyway, this wasn’t a bad bout at all.  I’ll always say that Triple H is one of the most overrated wrestlers of all time and I think this match, combined with the match with The Undertaker earlier in the year, exposed him as such.  Maybe that’s why he cheated on Chyna.  She wrestled better than he could!  There were some good brutal spots, but that ending got dragged out forever.  I get it, the WWE wants to remind us that Triple H is a badass.  You want to convince me?  How about he makes his own matches more interesting.  The match ended with Nash getting stretchered out for taking a sledgehammer to the face.  Kayfabe, of course.

Sheamus def. Jack Swagger

Leading up to the Pay-Per-View, I was surprised that neither Sheamus or John Cena had a match.  Well, backstage antics with Theodore Long and Hornswoggle fixed Sheamus’s issues.  Decent match, Swagger came to show again, but the result was NEVER in doubt.  I’m growing intrigued as to what the payoff for Sheamus is, though.  Could it be that HE ends up with the match with The Undertaker at Mania?  A better championship reign?  It’s got me thinking.

World Heavyweight Championship Chairs Match:  The Big Show def. Champion Mark Henry to WIN the World Heavyweight Championship

A quick match, but it got all the points out.  While it was quick, I can’t say it was terrible… it just needed time.  Then again, a long match between these two probably isn’t in our best interest.  Big Show wins, Mark Henry brutalizes Big Show afterwards, and then… THE VALKYRIES ARE FLYING, THE DRAGON HAS LANDED, IT’S DANIEL BRYAN!

MONEY IN THE BANK CASH-IN FOR THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP:  Daniel Bryan def. Champion The Big Show to WIN the World Heavyweight Championship

Pinfall, awesome, rubs it in Cole’s face, and something that should have happened earlier finally happens.  My only fear is that the WWE didn’t do enough to build him and sell him as a champion.  That’s because of all the losses they threw at him over the course of the year.  Ah well, we’ll see how it goes.  If he can hold the title up until Elimination Chamber at least, I’ll be happy.  I just don’t want him to end up like Christian and lose it on SmackDown the following week.

Interconeinental Championship Match: Champion Cody Rhodes def. Booker T

This wasn’t a great match, honestly. Rhodes looked sub-par tonight and the ending was just confusing. If they were trying to sell two earlier attacks on Booker T, they did a bad job of it. This isn’t the end of the feud, though, so we’ll see where it goes.

Tables, Ladders, & Chairs Match for the WWE Championship:  Champion CM Punk def. Alberto Del Rio w/Ricardo Rodriguez and The Miz

 It was an awesome match.  Not because of skill, because Miz doesn’t have any, but it was the spots that really made the match, namely handcuffs being used cleverly and Ricardo Rodriguez taking the bump of the night by falling off of the top of a tall ladder and into tables set out on the outside.  Punk was awesome as usual, Del Rio continues to legitimize why he’s thought so highly of, and Miz… well, he didn’t terribly embarrass himself.  That’s something to be said.

TLC was just as good as Survivor Series, maybe even better.  I enjoyed the matches in general and the new alignment for the titles are just about ideal now for me.  If we could swap out Cody Rhodes for Dolph Ziggler for the Intercontinental Championship, it’d be perfect, considering the current roster.

I give TLC 2011… four out of five stars.

That’s it for me and Raw for THIS week just went off the air… and I need to watch it.  See you guys Saturday!  And be sure to look out for the return of The Back Stack and the first part of the Legend of Zelda Retrospective some time soon.  Oh yes, and I’ll also do that Rocky & Bullwinkle review I wanted to get to for a few months now.

Cheers;

Graves

WWEekly Wrap-Up: Week Ending December 10, 2011

And here we are again.  Welcome to another WWEekly Wrap-Up.  I apologize for missing last week’s Wrap-Up, but sometimes life can get a little busy.  If it means anything, I found the previous week’s WWE offering to be very lackluster and nothing to write home about.

I want to talk about two things from last week’s Raw and SmackDown.  First on Raw.  The end of John Morrison’s career.  How does it end?  Does he get a grand match late in the show?  Does he get a tribute of any kind?  Does he come close, yet fall short, in a title bout of some kind?  No.  What happens?  He gets squashed by his less-talented former tag team partner, The Miz.  Rumor has it that Vince McMahon wasn’t high on John Morrison for a variety of suggested reasons, either for letting his girlfriend Melina sleep around with the locker room, Vince not being convinced that he could win any kind of fight, or what have you.  While I can’t comment on that first bit, as for the second one… yeah, I’m not convinced more than half your roster could win a real fight, but hey, unassuming packages, right?

No, I’m more irritated with the WWE’s handling of John Morrison as a whole rather than just this one instance like I was critical of them when Lita left years back.  It always ended up being a tease.  He was put in great matches, had great performances, was put in the title picture multiple times, and lost to WWE darlings like The Miz, only winning against them when Rey Mysterio fails a welfare policy test and has to drop his title.  The fans were seemingly very into him and you WANT your fans to be into your Superstars, don’t you, WWE?

So, yeah, not happy about that.  Now onto SmackDown.

…IT SUCKED.  Let’s leave it at that.

Monday Night Raw from Tampa, FL, on December5, 2011

Monday Night Raw was actually the better show between the two this week.  When that happens, you know SmackDown had to be exceptionally bad… most weeks, anyway.

We start off with The Miz, Dolph Ziggler, Alberto Del Rio, and John Cena talking WWE Championship opportunities.  Ummm… shouldn’t the actual Champion be taking part in this in some way?  Anyway, all four will end up with matches tonight and if they win, they’ll be included in a TLC match against CM Punk for the WWE Championship.  This means we can have a potential Five-Way.  Of course, my highest hope is that this’ll end up just being a one-on-one between Punk and Ziggler, but no way I’m that lucky.  This segment was… routine.  There wasn’t a lot to say.  Anyway, the Miz is first and his opponent is Randy Orton.  Joy.

The Miz def. Randy Orton (countout)

This was another uninspired match between these two.  I was never particularly impressed with their matches when they were feuding over the WWE Championship earlier in the year/last year and this match was no exception.  Barrett comes out and distracts Orton long enough to be counted out.  Nothing really worth mentioning.  Miz is in the match.

Alberto Del Rio def. Daniel Bryan

A short match and it hurts in two ways.  One, Daniel Bryan has to sell rib injuries and obviously isn’t permitted to do his best stuff, not to mention tap out quickly to the Cross Armbreaker.  Second, it doesn’t make Daniel Bryan, injury or not, seem like a credible contender to the World Heavyweight Championship, which is what the Money in the Bank Winner always is.  Face or heel, I think the title holder needs to be treated as such at all times to remain as an ever-lingering threat to the championship.  And guess what?  The WWE doesn’t do that.  Nope, let a perceived weakling take the title!  That’s the way to tell the fans the holders are the best in the world!  Oies…

Kelly Kelly & Eve Torres def. Diva’s Champion Beth Phoenix & Natalya

Within thirty seconds, Kelly Kelly rolls up Beth for the win.  What do I need to say about this?  Y’know, WWE, this is not the way to convince us that Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, either of the Bellas Alicia, Kaitlyn, or any of your other hack Divas can actually work a match or deserve to be called a champion, even in a world of pre-determined results.  You only hurt the credibility of those who we know CAN wrestle.  If I was a Diva, I’d make like the beautiful and amazing Gail Kim… and just walk out on you.

Anyway, the Interim GM, John Laurinitas, has a special surprise for John Cena.  His opponent tonight is Zack Ryder.  As a bonus, if Ryder wins, he gets the United States Championship match against Dolph Ziggler.  So, yeah, two friends going against another with their shots at the titles they want on the line.  Good heel heat for Laurinitas, but an admittedly bad premise when you want Cena to be your ever-loved face of the company.

John Cena def. Zack Ryder.

Oh, for those of you who thought Ryder would go over Cena in ANY fashion, I laugh at your misfortune.  Yeah, okay match, Ryder puts up a good show, but Super Cena wins in the end.  The two get into an argument, Ryder yelling how that it was his one opportunity at the title.  Ryder had been petitioning for weeks and had been denied a US title match.  So, yeah, he’s pretty peeved about it.  Cena returns to the locker room and says that Ryder still deserves a US Title Match.  The GM agrees to give Ryder one more chance to earn a title match if Cena gives up his spot in the WWE Championship match.  Cena agrees in an effort to make him better loved to the Internet Wrestling Community… but since he’ll get another title shot down the line anyway, I doubt it’ll work out.  As for Ryder, he has another match immediately against…

No Disqualification:  Zack Ryder def. World Heavyweight Champion Mark Henry (non-title)

Okay, I also thought it was going to be Brodus Clay who would make his debut here.  Now, anybody whose anybody would have seen Ryder winning this coming, especially when it was made No Disqualification, but against the World Heavyweight Champion?  Ummm… you guys DO know he’s one of your two top dogs in this company, right?  Hell, if I were Ryder’s character, I’d say “screw the United States Championship!  I’m a World Heavyweight Championship contender now!  I just beat the World Heavyweight Champion!  Who cares if Cena did the heavy lifting?  I BEAT THE WORLD CHAMP!”  Anyway, this match wasn’t as good as Cena/Ryder and not as long either.

Kevin Nash def. Santino Marella

Since I was a WCW fan at one point, I enjoyed seeing another Kevin Nash match.  What I didn’t enjoy was, well, being a more educated fan seeing a modern Kevin Nash match.  It wasn’t even a humorous match, considering Santino was involved.  In fact, I almost figured it’d be shorter than that Divas debacle from earlier.  Shows what I know.

Sheamus def. United States Champion Dolph Ziggler w/Vickie Guerrero

Probably the match of the week and can you expect anything else from Dolph Ziggler?  Really?  Honestly, my fear is that I’m going to run out of things to say about him.  There are other wrestlers I’ll go on about in a good way, but one of them is consistently ragged on (Daniel Bryan), one of them is perpetually inactive (Undertaker), one of them is the WWE Champion and doesn’t get as much air-time as he should (CM Punk), and the other just jumped ship to TNA (Gail Kim).  Anyway, good match, Ryder distracts Ziggler, Sheamus gets the win, and Ryder lays out Ziggler again.  Fun stuff overall.

We end on the contract signing for the WWE Championship Triple Threat between CM Punk, Alberto Del Rio, and The Miz.  Punk echos all our thoughts with this one.  These are boring.  These are predictable.  I wanna get to the action too.  One thing to note… I know John Laurinitas is supposed to get under fans’ skin, but calling himself Mr. Excitement than suggesting to end the signing with a photograph?  Y’know, I get the character they’re going for… NOBODY is that self-contradictory.  Anyway, Punk raises hell, lays out Del Rio, lays out Miz, the end.

Raw was pretty darn bad.  There were a couple good spots and Dolph Ziggler, of course, kept it from being a total waste of time.  Everything else felt more like a chore rather than a diversion.  I just didn’t have a lot of fun tonight.

I give Raw for December 5, 2011… Two out of five stars.

Friday Night SmackDown from Jacksonville, FL, on December 9, 2011

We begin the show with Booker T having been attacked by Cody Rhodes for supposedly berating Rhodes.  Y’know, I understand that they want an angle for Booker T to come back to the ring, but this thing with Rhodes is a REAL stretch.  It’s not creative, it’s not interesting, and it’s causing Michael Cole to be exposed as the terrible announcer he is.

Onto something happy, Lillian Garcia, the best WWE announcer since Howard Finkel, is back!  YES!  And, of course, since WWE can’t let their fans be happy with anything not CenOrton Circle related, Rhodes interrupts to say that he’s doing commentary for the evening.  Y’know, for as bad as Cole talks about how bad Booker T is, I can understand how much jubilation he was experiencing with Rhodes on commentary.  Rhodes actually makes Cole sound better by comparison.  Seriously, with Rhodes’s droning, low volume, date rapey voice, I can safely say that Michael Cole is no longer the worst option for regular commentary on a weekly basis.  Hell, commentary on SmackDown became so unbearable that I actually muted it out.  Now, Booker T wasn’t the best, I admit, but it was still fun with just how wacky he was.

It begs the question, though.  When Booker T does return to active competition, who replaces him on SmackDown?  Do they replace him at all?  Well, they better.  Josh Mathews is a hack commentator as it is and Michael Cole has single-handedly brought down commentary as a whole.  Now I can safely say that there is one thing TNA does better.  I’ll take Mike Tenay and Taz over Michael Cole and Not-JR any day.

All right.  Let’s begin.

Beat The Clock Challenge:  Wade Barrett def. Ezekiel Jackson in 7:53

The premise is simple.  Whomever between Wade Barrett and Randy Orton wins their match in a faster amount of time wins the right to declare their match’s stipulation at the TLC Pay-Per-View.  Hmmm… four options, two of which require either a title or a weapon to be on the line, which isn’t the case between Barrett and Orton… so really, take your pick.  Either the admittedly bland tables match or the one-note chairs match.  Joy.

Anyway, this match was nothing to write home about, but certainly wasn’t bad.  Barrett is still one of the WWE’s better superstars, but I can’t help but feel Jackson is falling into a major rut in his career in the WWE.  He had so many videos hyping his return, and he returned as a nondescript entrant in a generic battle royal in last week’s dismal holiday SmackDown.  At this point, I think you can put him on termination watch.

Teddy Long puts David Otunga in a match with Sheamus.  Goodie.  David Otunga in a wrestling match.  (Note the sarcasm)

Daniel Bryan comes out to talk to Josh Mathews about his loss last week to Mark Henry in the steel cage.  I seriously see Daniel Bryan becoming a major player.  A little bit Bret Hart, a little bit Mick Foley, a little bit CM Punk… lots of good stuff.  Michael Cole decides to pick an argument with Daniel Bryan.  This leads to Daniel Bryan getting jumped by Cody Rhodes for his troubles.  Apparently, the WWE is still convinced that burying whomever holds the Money in the Bank contract is still the way to convince us that the holder is a deserving future champion.  Honestly, the only two I remember NOT being ragged on constantly while they were the Money in the Bank contract holders were Kane and Jack Swagger, and both cashed in their contracts either immediately or within the week.  Then again, Swagger got ragged on his entire championship reign into one of the most ineffectual times in WWE history.

Cody Rhodes leaves commentary at this point, so commentary got modestly better… but Cole is still there, so you shouldn’t hope for much more.

Zack Ryder def. Heath Slater

Dear God, Lilian Garcia saves WWE audio…

Ah, excuse me.  Anyway, Ryder wins a quick match that is nothing special and probably just made for the purpose of selling to non-believers that Ryder is US Championship material.  Then the WWE’ll have him lose against Dolph Ziggler just to spite the Internet Wrestling Community.  Because that’s how the WWE rolls.  Yeah, screw storytelling!  Making our fans pissed off is the way to do business!

…Y’know, I sometimes wonder why I still watch this company post-Invasion.

Ted DiBiase def. Jinder Mahal

Yes, because far be it from the WWE to put undercarders on their pay-per-view!

This match did show why I have little patience with the WWE nowadays, especially with their commentary.  We spend the entire match with Michael Cole’s whining, arguing, and complaining and Josh Mathews doing the obligatory Kmart advertisement.  How long has this show been on?  Only 44 minutes? ARGH!  You know, if the WWE didn’t care about this match, why should I?  DiBiase wins the match, Mahal looked terrible again, DiBiase looked passable, fine, WWE.  I won’t care about this match.

Big Show in a ‘confrontation’ with Mark Henry in another of my absolute least favorite things about the WWE… an over-abundance of face-to-faces where nothing new or interesting happens.  One says “I’m going to win” or “I’m gonna hurt you,” the other says “no, I’m gonna hurt you” or “I’m going to win.”  Typically this ends with a fight of some kind and either one leaves the other laying or one runs off.  Any wagers on that happening here?

Guess what?  It does.  Mark Henry gets left laying and Big Show focuses on the ‘injured’ leg.  Way to go, WWE.  Way to make one world-tier champion look dominate and the other look like a chump.

Hornswoggle comes out to be a special guest ring announcer.  Michael Cole uses the term “horsing around” when Hornswoggle and Lillian dance together in the ring.  A veiled shot at Lilian Garcia that is in really poor taste.  I don’t know if it’s Vince McMahon or Triple H, but it’s really classless.  And I find Lilian Garcia more beautiful than most all the Divas roster.  Whoever is behind these jabs, screw you.

Sheamus def. David Otunga

Nothing much to say here.  Sheamus’ matches are typically fun and Otunga didn’t look entirely useless, surprisingly.  Decent, but uninspired, especially for one of the WWE’s biggest stars heading into a Pay-Per-View.  Knowing our luck, they’ll make Christian wrestle while injured and have him job out to Sheamus again in a TLC match just to really cheese off fans.

Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes def. Daniel Bryan (disqualification)

It was a decent match for what it had to be, what with Daniel Bryan having to sell the rib injury.  Booker T comes down to attack Cody Rhodes from the earlier attack.

We get some backstage fluff between Teddy Long and Aksana… primarily pimping the WWE Network.

Diva’s Champion Beth Phoenix & Natalya def. A.J. & Kaitlyn(?)

Hey!  Guess what?  The WWE got wise to me calling modern Diva matches the Beer Run Matches that now they don’t give you the luxury of taking this time to restock your refreshments!  This match was taped, a heel turn for Kaitlyn was made, and it got cut all together from the show!  While I appreciate the WWE not forcing the same repeated match to us for another week, at least three of the four Divas involved here CAN wrestle.

One of these Divas is not like the other!  One of these Divas can’t work a match!  If you guessed the one turning heel, NOOOOOOO!  REALLY?!  ^_~

Randy Orton def. United States Champion Dolph Ziggler w/Vickie Guerrero with two seconds remaining

While I’m certain the result was pretty much pre-determined, it was still a generally good match.  I hate these Beat The Clock matches that take place after any other Beat The Clock match because I think the time really constricts what Superstars can do in the ring.  It’s ridiculous, really.

Anyway, Dolph Ziggler can do no wrong in the ring, even when he’s jobbing out to Randy Orton.  And yes, I know, technically Orton’s the higher-tiered Superstar, but bare in mind that I consider jobbing in terms of in-ring ability, not standing in the company.  Now, Orton isn’t a bad wrestler, but he’s very uninspired to me.  He gets by on aggression and crap-tastic storytelling in modern WWE.  Some may say that Stone Cold Steve Austin got by on aggression too, but at least he could be coherent, consistently compotent, and just damn entertaining in the ring.  Orton… just doesn’t have that.  I find him boring, to be honest.  And the fact that it was HIM that beat Christian in two days for the World Championship this year was what ticked me off the most, not just Christian losing in two days after he busted his hump for 14 years before being unceremoniously gyped out of it.

Speaking of dubiously short title reigns, Dolph Ziggler gets brutalized by Orton after Wade Barrett attempts a sneak attack.  Orton power bombs him through a table (Orton using the Power Bomb REALLY doesn’t look right…) and the match between he and Barrett is made to be that boring Tables Match we heard so much about.  Of course, since Mark Henry vs. Big Show is a Chair Match, Triple H vs. Kevin Nash is a Ladder Match, and the WWE Championship match is a TLC match, it was the only option remaining.  Yes, really suspenseful.  You really wanted to change things up on us, WWE?  Should have had Orton pick something else.  When was the last time we had an Ambulance Match?  I don’t care if it’s Tables, Ladders, and Chairs themed for the Pay-Per-View.  There’s no suspense in guessing the match type like this.  You should have just called it a Tables Match from the get go and be done with it.

SmackDown was… annoying.  I’ve been pretty fine with SmackDown generally speaking, but tonight was a chore to watch.  We had the graceful return of Lilian Garcia, but Michael Cole had one of his worst nights of commentary ever, and turning it into a case where Josh Mathews had to save it only made things worse.  And Cody Rhodes out there for about 40 minutes worth of regular commentary made it unbearable and just not entertaining.

I give SmackDown for December 19, 2011… One and a half out of five stars.  It really missed the mark with me this week.

That’s all for me.  Hopefuly we’ll get better stuff next week.

Until next week, I am Master Graveheart, tagging out.

The WWEekly Wrap-Up - Week ending November 26, 2011

Hey folks, sorry it took me so long to post this this week.  As you can tell, my Thanksgiving weekend got me a little on the busy side, so please forgive me.  I'll try to be on time this up coming Saturday.

I was also thuroughly enjoying the Michigan vs. Ohio State game where my Wolverines finally got it right against the team to the south. To my Ohio readers... yes, I'm a Michigan fan, but I still hope we can get along. ^_^

Also, as you could tell, my NES review of Rocky & Bullwinkle & Friends didn't go up because of the Thanksgiving weekend.  I AM still working on the first few parts of the Zelda retrospective too... as well as working on Skyward Sword, which is friggin' awesome... so expect those soon.  In the meantime, let's talk about the WWE's week!

I gotta say, this was a WONDERFUL step up from the previous week.  No, it wasn't perfect and there were some really stupid story bits that happened for various reasons, but it was still enjoyable, compounded only by an awesome Survivor Series, which we'll cover first, so let's get to it!

Survivor Series from New York City, NY - November 20, 2011

Survivor Series was an AWESOME show.  No, I didn't care one bit about the return of The Rock.  I cared about it because it was Survivor Series, the first pay-per-view I vividly remember, and I was actually there too.  1991, Joe Louis Arena in Detroit, MI, The Undertaker topples Hulk Hogan, the lingering feud between Randy Savage and Jake Roberts (stemming from one of the most horrifying moments in my young wrestling fandom), and the massive Survivor Series-style tag matches including all-time greats like the Legion of Doom, Ric Flair, Rowdy Roddy Piper, The Rockers, The Million-Doller Man, The Big Boss Man... I friggin' loved that show and it's the standard I use for all wrestling shows today.

That having been said, this Survivor Series wasn't nearly as good as that one was, but considering some of the garbage the WWE's put out in recent years, it was still a treat.  The thing is, with this past WrestleMania, WrestleMania XXVII, I was venomously disappointed and told myself I woudln't invest in another WWE Pay-Per-View until they improved their product.  No, I didn't buy this event because they improved their product, I'm just a sucker for the Survivor Series.  No, I don't plan on ordering WrestleMania XXVII in April, Rock vs. Cena or no Rock vs. Cena.  I MIGHT order the Royal Rumble because that's another event close to my heart, but that's to be determined.  Maybe the undercard will settle things for me.

Onto Survivor Series and our first event is... Raw General Manager and Executive Vice President of Tallent Relations John Laurinitus telling us it's his 10th anniversary in the WWE.  Okay, fine.  Maybe he'll have a hellish night or he'll play a big part in the events tonight.  Well, I'll tell you right now, he does aproximately jack squat.  Okay, for real, onto the first match.  I'll try to keep this shorter than I did my first WWEekly Wrap-Up.

United States Championship:  Champion Dolph Ziggler w/Vickie Guerrero def. John Morrison

This was a damn fine match.  Dolph Ziggler continues to prove why he's so awesome and John Morrison is entertaining as always.  What ruins this though, and I'm sorry to say this, are the New York fans.  Yeah, I know, we all wanted it to be Zack Ryder in the match instead of John Morrison, but hey, the WWE rarely favors people wrestling in or relatively close to their hometowns.  Just look at Jim Ross.  Heck, if Ryder was in this match, he probably woudln't have won.  This tells me a few things.  One, with John Morrison's WWE career wrapping up (reportedly not renewing his contract that expires soon), the WWE wanted to push other Superstars who are going to be with the company for the long haul like a Dolph Ziggler... and possibly Brodus Clay tomorrow.  Two, the WWE eventually would like someone as popular as Zack Ryder to be the next United States Champion so that they could push his merchandise and let Dolph Ziggler move onto bigger things, like a meaningful World Heavyweight or WWE Championship reign.  So, yeah.  Great match, shame about the fans.

Diva's Championship Match:  Champion Beth Phoenix w/Natalya def. Eve Torres in a Lumberjill match

This was a very sloppy match and it goes to prove my point about today's Diva's Division.  It's boring.  It's the beer run match of the night.  Sure, some like Beth Phoenix, Natalya, A.J., and Maxine do seem like they honestly try, but who is the WWE kidding trying to sell people like The Bella Twins, Kelly Kelly, Alicia Fox, Kaitlyn, or Eve Torres as the successors to the greats like Trish Stratus, Lita, Chyna, Melina, Gail Kim, Victoria, Jazz, Molly Holly, and the like?  Yes, I know, Eve Torres said on her Twitter that they try really hard to put together a strong match for the fans.  Fair enough, Miss. Torres, but effort does not make for quality matches.  Actual in-ring skill does and, with the exception of the four I mentioned, the Diva's on the roster today do not.  I am not counting Kharma, formerly Awesome Kong, in that because she's sidelined with a real life pregnancy and, well, I honestly don't expect her to come back once she's given birth.

Anyway, Beth Phoenix manages to save this debacle of a match with a Glam Slam from the top rope on Eve Torres which, admittedly, looked pretty sick.  Splat!  But, yes, this was definately the low spot of he show.  Wherever the Fabulous Moolah is up there in Heaven right now, she must simply be facepalming...

5-On-5 Survivor Series Match:  Team Barrett (Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes, Hunico, Jack Swagger, and Dolph Ziggler) def. Team Orton (Randy Orton, Sheamus, Kofi Kingston, Mason Ryan, and Sin Cara)

Before I get into this, let me talk about two things.  One, Dolph Ziggler is pulling double duty tonight.  While I appriciate getting to see him strut his stuff, I just need to ask one thing.  Why?  Was Drew McIntyre busy?  Do you really have something about not using Curt Hawkins or Tyler Reks?  What about Primo?  Or William Regal?  Heck, tell Matt Striker to throw on the tights again!  I get it, you don't want to use those guys at all, but for as long as Ziggler was in this match, you could have put them in and there would have been no harm, no foul.  I know Christian got injured, but you didn't need to use Ziggler like this and hurt his push.  It just makes him look silly after he boasted about being that good.

Also, on a more serious note, the Sin Cara injury.  This really sucks.  There's no other way around it.  Some people are claiming that he botched his jump outside the ring and that's what injured him, but it was also reported that his tendon just snapped as he made the jump, leading to the botch.  Whatever is true, I need to say that, towards someone who just injured himself, the "You f*ck*d up" chants were really tasteless.  I complained about the fans with the Ziggler/Morrison match, but this was just aweful and I'm really embarassed for those who did those chants.  Reports are saying Sin Cara is going to be out around nine months, which means he'll not only miss WrestleMania this year (which sucks in itself), but he may not even be good to go by SummerSlam if his rehab has complications.

One last thing.  The term "classic Survivor Series match."  Ummm... no it isn't.  The old Survivor Series matches had teams of four, just like WCW's War Games matches (which so need to be brought back).  Just a nitpick.

Anyway, this match did a lot of things right.  First, Hunico.  I was really afraid that he was the one who was going to get the shaft in this match.  For a newer superstar like him, he didn't need it.  In fact, I gotta say, I was really impressed with him overall.  I hope the WWE writers don't get bored with him and write him off like they did with people like Reks, McIntyre, Yoshi Tatsu, and Ted DiBiase Jr..  He was the second to last man eliminated in the match entirely, which should tell you all you need to know about how much time he got to shine.

As for the final result, it ended the way it should have.  Team Barrett wins and nobody really looked weak, save for Dolph Ziggler.  Unfortunate injury aside, everyone really got a chance to shine in this match.  Barrett and Rhodes survive for their team, last eliminating Randy Orton, with Hunico more or less sacrificing himself for the end distraction that would lead to the end.  I feel it was the best case scenario and the match ended up being much better than I anticipated, hiccups at the begining aside.  it was a pretty sizable match at 22 minutes... though nothing compared to Survivor Series matches of old that went around 30-40 minutes.

World Heavyweight Championship:  The Big Show def. Champion Mark Henry via disqualification.

I know I said that the Diva's Title Match was the worst match of the night.  This one almost took that crown, if not for one thing.  The Big Show, a 7' tall, 450+ lb man, does a flying elbow drop from the top rope.  That is 450+ kinds of awesomeness.  Seriously, no big man does stuff like that even for spot situations.  Big props.

Anyway, Mark Henry kicks Big Show in the boys, gets disqualified, keeps his title because of it... and gets destroyed by an angry giant.  Whoops.

WWE Championship:  C.M. Punk def. Champion Alberto Del Rio

THIS was the match of the night for me.  Lots of wonderful action between two people who know their way around in the ring.  I won't say it was one of the best I've ever seen, because it wasn't, but it was a damn fine match that I thouroughly enjoyed.  Even better, Howard Finkel, legendary announcer for the WWE for over 30 years, did the introduction for Punk, in Punk's slight against Del Rio's personal announcer, Ricardo Rodriguez, as well as announcing him as the eventual winner.  A fantastic WWE Championship match.

There was only one downside and that this wasn't the main event.  Again, the world-tier championships are the pinnicle of the industry and should be treated as such.  I don't care if The Rock was making his comeback and I don't care if the main event featured John Cena.  They're not the champions.  Mark Henry and Alberto Del Rio, now C.M. Puk, are.  That just bugs me.

Speaking of... let's get to it.  The final match of the night.

The Rock & John Cena def. The Awesome Truth

Yeah, we all probably saw it coming, but it was entirely the wrong direction for this match, I think.  I think this match should have pushed the rivalry between Cena and Rock leading to the end of their year-long build-up at WrestleMania.  Instead, we get a match made as a showcase for these two.  I don't understand why we COULDN'T have a showcase of Cena and Rock and still have them lose to get them ready to get at each other's throats.  They don't need the push.  It's John Cena and The Rock.  The Miz and R-Truth, however, do.  I've never been sold on The Miz as a main eventer, let alone WWE Champion, and while I do believe R-Truth IS a main eventer, not many other people do.  THEY needed this match more than Cena and The Rock.  And heck, a loss for Cena and Rock would have done wonders to push their anamosity towards each other in building up the hype for their WrestleMania match, which I think the WWE's done a poor job of building up, which isn't to say they haven't tried to hype it.

Anyway, the match itself was good, though.  Whereas the fans hurt two matches earlier in the night, they added to this one.  With the Rock showing that he hasn't lost a step in being gone for seven-some years, the fans chanted, rightfully so, "you still got it!"  When Cena came in and tried busting out some ugly-looking new moves (for him, anyway), the fans fired back, rightfully so, "you still suck!"  That had me laughing my rear-end off.  Anayway, yes, decent match, not happy with the direction, but we'll talk more about that when we talk about Raw.

Overall, Survivor Series was a great show and I'm happy with this show.  Mind you, I'm not sold on buying other pay-per-views just yet.  The WWE needs to step it's weekly show quality up considerably for me to commit to that.

I give Survivor Series 2011... four out of five stars.  Great show.

Monday Night Raw from Hershey, PA - November 21, 2011

Someone asked me why I'm not refering to this as "Raw SuperShow" like it's supposed to.  Why?  Because it's stupid.  With as shallow of a roster as the WWE has today, it's a wonder the brand exteniton still exists.  And besides, SmackDown has Raw superstars on it every so often too, so why isn't that "SmackDown SuperShow"?

Anyway, Raw... it wasn't bad.  Much better than last week.  Not much to say until towards the end, so let's get started.

C.M. Punk came out and cut a promo with John Laurinitis to help put over Zack Ryder and set his new status quo.  His and Ryder's matches for the night are set and the WWE Title rematch between him and Del Rio is set for next week.  Standard stuff.

Alberto Del Rio def. Zack Ryder

This was a little confusing and short.  I can't say it was a good match, though there were some okay spots.  With them trying to push Ryder, it was also unnecessary because he didn't exactly look strong in this match, nor did Del Rio for that matter.  It felt like filler to me.

Sheamus def. Jack Swagger

Nothing special, but nothing bad either.  It was solid for TV, but I can't hep but feel that Sheamus recovers into a victory way too fast.  When he's on the cusp of defeat, he quickly pulls out a victory in the end.  It's a little lazy, if you ask me, but I don't really want to call him lazy since he does put on quality matches.  It's alsoa shame how far Jack Swagger continues to fall.  He was once thought of highly enough to become World Heavyweight Champion, but even then was considered a jobber.  It felt not only like a wasted reign, but a waste of a Money in the Bank briefcase.  I expected more at this point in his career because he's definately a lot more talented than this.

Kevin Nash came out and cut a promo on Triple H, who should be returning soon if storyline holds true.  Not much to say here, but I would like to see Nash in a match with other people before he climbs in the ring with Triple H eventually.

Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes def. Santino Marella

I'm not as harsh on this match for it's shortness as I am on the Ryder/Del Rio match from earlier because it dida lot in the short time it had... although the length of this match probably made some recent Divas matches feel proud by comparison in terms of length.  Anyway, for as short of a time we had, it was okay and nobody really got hurt by it.  I still hate Cody Rhodes's new theme though.  Who cares if he doesn't have the mask anymore?  Bring back the hoodie, bring back the creepy promos, and bring back the baggers.  THAT was good character stuff.

WWE Champion C.M. Punk def. United States Champion Dolph Ziggler w/Vickie Guerrero

Hot damn was this an awesome match!  Two of WWE's most talented and did it deliver.  And on Monday Night Raw of all places!  This is the type of match we need to have on Raw more often.  In this era defined by the likes of John Cena and Randy Orton, it's great to see two peole in the title picture who can actually make the matches exciting.  Both men proved why they're two of the absolute best today.

Agian, the only thing hurting this is it wasn't the closer to end the show strong.  After all... WWE Champion.  Just saying.

Big Show talks about his mauling of Mark Henry.  ...next!

Wade Barrett def. Kofi Kingston

This was a good match too, but SO unnecessary.  What was unnecessary was Randy Orton, coming out and spooking Barrett at the end of the match.  Why?  Barrett outwrestled and outshined Orton the night before at Survivor Series.  Why does Wade Freakin' Barrett have to sweat Randy Orton AT ALL?  Oh, wait, he's part of the CenOrton Circle.  Nobody gets to truly go over those two.  Sorry Wade.  I predict your jobbing out to Orton at the TLC pay-per-view, and you don't deserve it.

John Cena, The Miz, and R-Truth had a promo to close us out.  Cena came out to talk about Survivor Series... which begs the question... WHY?!  Let's say that the kayfabe (pretend) WWE DOESN'T take interferance into account when scheduling the show.  So, in their infinate knowledge, they decide to have the last for segments be as follows:  WWE Champion vs. United States Champion, Big Show promo, Barrett vs. Kingston, Cena promo.  Look, I don't care how big they try to buff Cena for this generation, him speaking nowadays is about as boring as paint drying in Death Valley.  It's just aweful.  If anything, this whole thing should have been entirely reversed, maybe switching the promos around.  End with the champion vs. champion match to build up to next week's main event, start with the Big Show promo.

Anyway, Cena gets Miz and Truth to turn on each other, resulting in The Miz hitting the Skull Crushing finale on R-Truth on the stage after leading him to believe that they're going to go after Cena.  The real reason this happened was revealed later as R-Truth was found in violation ofthe WWE's welfare policy.  I'm going to ignore some of the other controversies coming out about this and just say that if the wellfare violation was the reason Truth and Miz lost the Survivor Series match, it's still doing a disservice to the Rock and Cena's build-up towards WrestleMania.  And yes, you COULD have done this even with Awesome Truth winning.  And no, WWE, The Rock hitting the Rock Bottom on Cena after the match doesn't have the same effect, either.

Overall, Raw was good.  A little mind-bending, but good.  Cena and Orton being so spotlight to the WWE really hurts C.M. Punk the most tonight in terms of his standing in the company, but it isn't worth crying over too much.

I give Monday Night Raw for November 21, 2011... three out of five stars.

Friday Night SmackDown from Wilkes-Barre, PA. - November 25, 2011

The show tonight was another mix of good and bad.  I'd say it was definately more solid than Raw, but I still say Punk and Ziggler on Raw trumps anything done tonight.

The show begins with Mark Henry talking about Survivor Series, coming out in crutches, selling the nearly-broken ankle he suffered at Survivor Series at the hands of The Big Show.  Big Show comes out and runs him down, Mark Henry responds, and Big Show punches out Mark Henry with the W.M.D. for his troubles.  Fun stuff, basic stuff, Big Show leaves.  And then, with Mark Henry still unconcious in the ring...

MONEY IN THE BANK CASH-IN FOR THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP:  Daniel Bryan def. Champion Mark Henry

Daniel Bryan rushes down the ring, cashes in his Money in the Bank briefcase, slowly... slowly... slowly rolls over Mark Henry and gets the pinfall victory!  The man is really milking the celebration after, even taking time to rub it in Michael Cole's face, who has criticized him from day one in the WWE.  It's just a great celebration in the end and awesome to see a well-liked, TALLENTED WRESTLER get to win the...

Yeah, okay, we know what happened.  SmackDown General Manager Theodore Long comes down and nullifies the match on the grounds that Mark Henry wasn't cleared to compete.  He gives Daniel Bryan back his Money in the Bank briefcase and puts him in a fatal four-way for the #1 contendership later tonight.

Are you kidding me, WWE?  No, it isn't the fact that you did this fake out, it's the disregard for what the Money in the Bank briefcase is.  It's meant to be used anytime, anyplace, anywhere.  By doing this, it pretty much disregards that clause in the contract.  It shouldn't matter if Mark Henry was deemed "not cleared to compete."  the whole thing is just boggling.  Even worse was Theodore Long's promo about it, acting like he's giving Daniel Bryan an even trade-off.  Are you high, WWE?

That rant out of the way, let's continue.

Hunico def. Justin Gabriel

A decent match, all things considered.  While I'm glad Hunico isn't quite being forgotten about yet, I can't help but feel that Justin Gabriel is.  It's just sad the standing some once promising wrestlers are at nowadays.

Diva's Champion Beth Phoenix & Natalya def. A.J. & Kaitlyn

This was just a squash match and not even an entertaining one.  Really, the only one who didn't belong in this match was Kaitlyn, but the other three are very talented in-ring competitors.  Then again, so was Savannah and she was fired before having an actual match in the WWE.  Anyway, after the match, we get the makings of an A.J. and Kaitlyn split... and I normally woudln't care, except... A.J. is a tallented wrestler.  Kaitlyn is not.  Knowing the WWE, they'll push Kaitlyn and poor A.J. will be future endevored (fired) within a year.  I mean, heck, they put her over A.J. and Naomi on season three of NXT.

Also, it looks like Alicia Fox will get the next shot at Beth Phoenix, even though I think she was technically supposed to get it at Survivor Series.  And seriously, there are three Divas in the WWE today whom I think can go toe-to-toe with Beth Phoenix.  First is A.J., who just got squashed.  Second is Natalya, who is Beth's running buddy.  Third is Kharma, who is currently sidelined due to real life pregnancy.  Yeah... the WWE's Diva's Division is a mess.

Daniel Bryan and A.J. were seen talking backstage about the missed opportunity Bryan had earlier.  Wade Barrett, also in the Fatal Four-Way tonight, comes up and mocks the two, calling A.J. a 14-year-old girl to boot.  So wonderfully evil you just love to hate him, that Wade Barrett.  Anyway, the promo ends with Bryan telling Barrett off and A.J. kissing him on the cheek for good luck.  Oh goodie, another spontanious romance angle for Daniel Bryan.  Careful, A.J.  The last three didn't work out so well.  Gail Kim got buried in the company and was driven to quit and the Bella Twins are still the Bella Twins.  Careful now.

Sheamus & Zack Ryder def. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger w/Vickie Guerrero

Pretty strong tag match here and everyone got the chance to look good.  Not much to say, really, except I think this helped balance out Ryder's showing on Raw... which admittedly wasn't his fault, it was WWE's stupid booking practices.

Ted DiBiase def. Heath Slater

Oh, lookie!  Fresh off his suspension, Heath Slater is back!  I did not care.  Oh, lookie!  Ted DiBiase's son, Ted DiBiase, is tryingto become a face and he apparently has DiBiase Possie gatherings in parking lots before the show!  I do not care.  Oh, lookie!  Jinder Mahal is yelling on the Titantron in supposedly Punjabi!  I REALLY do not care.  The match was just basic, too.  Nothing special, but I won't call it bad either.

World Heavyweight Championship #1 Contender's Match:  Daniel Bryan def. Cody Rhodes, Randy Orton, and Wade Barrett

This match... bugged me.  It seemed really slow to me and I wouldn't accuse either of these superstars of being slow wrestlers, because they're not.  Sure, Orton's BORING in the ring, but he at least has a good pace to his matches, as do the others.  And heck, sometimes, Daniel Bryan can be downright speedy.  Yeah, this one was a bit of a let-down considering three of the four are superb in-ring competitors (Orton being the odd man out), but it did it's job.

I know I nitpicked, but I think SmackDown this week was actually somewhat stronger with high points and low points.  While the story wasn't as coherent this time around in terms of figuring out what's coming up, there were some enjoyable moments tonight.

I give SmackDown for November 25, 2011... three out of five stars.

Next week, SmackDown will be live on Tuesday.  No, I'm not going to do the WWEekly Wrap-Up on Wednesday in response, because I want to keep a schedulehere.  Tuesda for the Back Stack, Thursday (finally!) for Grave Issues, and Saturday for the WWEekly Wrap-Up.  It'll also give me time to add in any news stories that happen during the week.

So thank you for reading this week!  This has been the WWEekly Wrap-Up.  I'm Master Graveheart, tagging out.

WWEekly Wrap-Up for the week ending November 19, 2011 + Survivor Series predictions

And here we are.  The inaugural edition of the WWEekly Wrap-Up.  This is fitting for me because Survivor Series is a very personal Pay-Per-View for me.  It was the first live event I ever went to and certainly not the last.

The format of this series will be very rough around the edges.  It’ll primarily be my base thoughts regarding the shows.  I’ll be forward with you, though.  I’m not happy with the current run of the WWE.  Still, though, it’s better than anything rival TNA comes up with on a regular basis.  However, I am not so bias that I won’t aknowledge when TNA does something good… like having a women’s division that tries to be entertaining.  More on my thoughts about the Divas Division later, though.  I didn’t tune into NXT or Superstars this week, so I won’t be covering them this week.  That said, let’s begin.

Monday Night Raw from Boston, Mass.:  November 14, 2011

It’s a three hour special tonight.  This is basically a return to the status quo for me, though, since I watched WCW Monday Nitro for so long and, for a long time, it was regularly three hours.  In spite of this, it seems the WWE still seems to never have as many matches as Nitro did during their three hour time slots.  I know, that the WWE tries to give everything a purpose and I commend them for that… still, would a throwaway fun match be so out of the question?  I mean, heck, what else is your undercard going to do?

Michael Cole Challenge:  Michael Cole vs. Jim Ross

This is the opening segment of Monday Night Raw and it doesn’t start off strong.  The Michael Cle Challenge that we’ve been having pimped before us for the weeks prior basically ended up being a redux of “let’s humiliate JR to piss off the fans again.”  The Challenge was that if JR could beat Cole in all three events, then he could have his job back and Cole would supposedly quit the WWE for good.  Honestly, I thought this would be where Cole evolves from the announce desk and become either a general manager later down the line or a manager of superstars.  I know there are some people who enjoy Cole’s commentary, but I’m not one of them and was NEVER one of them.  He was just passable back when he was pairing up with Tazz on SmackDown, but I think I began losing patience with him when he teamed up with JBL and became Rey Mysterio’s cheer leader.  In fact, it actually made me get irritated with Mysterio when I was originally such a big fan of his.  Granted, I’ve leveled it back off since then.  Still, Cole just doesn’t seem to hit the right chords with me.  Here’s my thing about being a good heel.  If you want your fans to get hot over the actions of your heels, it still needs to be entertaining.  Bobby “The Brain” Heenan was possibly the single greatest example of a heel commentator.  He was funny, he could play the bad guy, and he was good at commentating.  Paul Haymen was another fine example.  You just loved to hate his character.  Michael Cole, on the other hand, is a chore to listen to week in and week out and I find myself plugging in my iPod for the non-promo portions of the show more often than not.  Cole just doesn’t do it for me and the fact that he’s being shoved down our throats so much makes me really question WWE management’s sanity in keeping this charade up.

Anyway, the first challenge was an arm-wrestling contest, which JR won in under a second.  Heck, you could have run this a hundred times in the time it took Cole to finish strutting… which was funny.  Next, was the dance competition which was example #1of “let’s embarrass JR again” on the part of the WWE.  Oh, sure, JR’s dancing was funny as hell and damn entertaining… but it also shows us why we’ll never be rid of these things.  JR keeps going along with it and will let himself have too much fun with it.  This was a prime example as he really seemed to get into… what I guess people will call dancing today.  The third challenge was the one that he was supposed to lose.  “Who weighs less.”  Now, granted, I thought something funny was going to happen, like, JR setting the scales back so he weighed, like, 70lbs, but that’d probably get nixed by the Interim Raw GM, former wrestler Johnny Ace.

But, no, JR outweighed Cole by 40lbs and lost the challenge.  Now comes to where the segment really lost its merit.  CM Punk comes out to talk about the segment being a waste of everyone’s time, implying that there was more to do with JR coming soon.  Instead, he talks for a bit, Johnny Ace comes out and sets up the main event of the evening, and Punk puts Cole in the Anaconda Vice submission maneuver.  It really seemed like Punk forgot what he was initially going to do… or he just implied he had more in mind than making Cole hurt a lot.  We’ll get JR for all of ONE segment at commentary as a result.

I am not a fan of the idea of managers, announcers, or non-combative personnel having major air time.  The WWE doesn’t use their entire roster as it is and this only makes their situation worse.   Hey, kids!  Remember Drew McIntyre?  How about Tyler Reks?  No?  Well gee whiz!

Anyway, Punk and Big Show vs. Mark Henry and Alberto Del Rio is set for later tonight as a result.  Great.  Weeks of build-up amounts to a match leading up to Survivor Series that isn’t even the main event of the evening.  Not only is the whole premise stupid, not only will the match only be generic, not only do we get to see JR get shown up for no good reason later in the evening.  Is a sizable time of us having a good strong commentary team too much to ask?

Hey!  Mick Foley is here!  If you don’t read the wrestling Internet dirt sheets, this’d been a pleasant surprise!  If you did, well, this was just pleasant.  Foley’s been one of the most entertaining performers for years and he generally only adds to the shows he’s on, be it commentary or a promo made only for the cheep pop.

 

Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes and Hunico vs. Kofi Kingston and Sin Cara

Oh dear Lord do I hate Cody Rhodes’s new music.  If you wanted a male strip club remix of his Dashing theme, Smoke & Mirrors, here you go.  The only problem is that nobody wanted this remix.  Also, Rhodes’s mask is gone.  Kind of an uncerimonial way to get rid of one of the WWE’s best gimmicks, don’t you think?  Anyway, Rhodes and Hunico win in an average match.  Not bad, but nothing really special.  Rhodes and Hunico get the win, leading up to their participation in the classic Survivor Series-style match… more on my thoughts on that when I reach the predction.

Before the next match, JR gets booted from the announce table.  Great.  Now we can’t even get good commentary for a whole hour.

 

Mason Ryan vs. United States Champion Dolph Ziggler w/Vickie Guerrero

For the record, I like Vickie Guerrero.  She does SUCH a great job of getting under people’s skin by doing so little.  How does she do it?  I have no idea.  Maybe it’s prejudices, maybe it’s long standing love for Eddie Guerrero, I dunno.  Anyway, another match to preview the Survivor Series-style match and boy does Mason look green.  I don’t know his wrestling background, but he’s either a WWE lifer or fairly new to the craft.  I don’t buy the argument of “The WWE Style.”  For me, the WWE style is only shorter matches made for TV.  That’s all.  Ziggler, on the other hand, has superstar written all over him.  The man is consistently in command with whatever he does and I don’t remember a bad performance on his part.  Not bad for someone who used to be a member of the Spirit Squad, eh?  Anyway, Mason Ryan wins by DQ, Ziggler makes a break for it, and John Morrison comes out, throws Ziggler back in, and Ryan has at him.  The match was also just okay, made no better by Ryan’s inability to put together a match.  Ziggler, of course, saves it.

Top of the hour, Mick Foley comes out, calls out John Cena for a stupid “This Is Your Life” segment.  They run a montage on Cena as a kid, like we haven’t seen THAT done before, then we get to a dude impersonating John Cena’s little league coach.  I’m… pretty sure Cena was a football player, but hey, he could have played multiple sports.  It’s a dull segment that basically has the impersonator calling Cena a former crybaby and a loser, which the Cena haters should appreciate.  Next, we get BULL BUCHANNAN!  Buchannan talks about being Cena’s old running buddy, B2 (that’s B Squared).  He thumped up how great Cena was… then talked about how his life basically went to hell since the WWE fired him including losing his money in some kind of racquet scam and getting rabies.  Yeah, he concluded John Cena ruined his life.  Fun stuff.  Finally, John Cena’s real life father came out and ragged on all of the Cena’s haters, saying they suck and acting like he tapped out the open bar at his hotel.  Generally funny stuff.  Foley’s end goal was to get Cena and The Rock to be buddy-buddy for the long haul, even after their match against Awesome Truth at Survivor Series.  Instead, The Rock walks in, Rock Bottoms Mick Foley, and walks out.  Simple as that, funny as that… pointless as that.  Just a diversion that we, quite frankly, didn’t need.  Hopefully something comes of this with Foley in the coming weeks so this won’t just feel like it was filler for a three-hour Raw.

Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger

Another match in light of the Survivor Series-style match.  This wasn’t a bad match until the ending.  It felt horribly rushed and almost “Super Cena”-esque in how quickly Sheamus recovered for the victory.  Now, Sheamus is a hell of a breath of fresh air compared to the repetitive nature of Cena and Randy Orton that we’ve had for the past few years, but I can’t help but feel he’s going to fall into the same trap.  However, he can at least mutually put on an entertaining match with his opponent and he works better when not strapped for time.  His matches where he picked up where Randy Orton left off in unnecessarily burying Christian in recent months are proof of this.  As for Swagger… I can’t help but feel like nobody really knows what to do with him.  They thought high enough of him to be a World Heavyweight Champion, but didn’t think high enough of him to do anything with that reign.  Not to mention he often loses the gag matches nowadays

Kelly Kelly vs. Natalya

And now we’ve come to arguably the most painful part of WWE broadcasting lately.  The Divas matches, or as I like to call them, the Beer Run Match.  With this ritual, the Divas bounce out to the ring, the horny males of the audience ooh, ahhh… then they go with the wrestling fans to go grab refreshments or souveniers for the kids.  Why?  Because the Divas Division has fallen.  Once upon a time, Raw was main evented and closed out by the Women’s Championship grudge match between Trish Stratus and Lita, two of the three women I primarily credit with pioneering women’s wrestling on a mainstream level (the third being Chyna).  Now… we get a match that’s won in under a minute mid-show with a roll-up after maybe three moves of dubious origin.  This is especially frustrating in Divas tag team matches where not everyone slated for the match actually gets to participate.  I think the most outgregeous offendor was a couple years ago when it was a 14-Diva Tag Team match… something as epically set up as a 14-person tag team match… ends within two minutes with only three Divas actually participating in the match… yeah, the Divas Division has been brown beaten by the WWE and putting women who evidently CAN’T put on a match like the Bella Twins, Eve Torres, Alicia Fox, and Kelly Kelly in the spotlight doesn’t help matters one bit.  I’ll vent about the Diva’s Division more another day, but  needless to say, this one’s just more crap.  Kelly wins with a roll-up in about 50 seconds.

WWE Champion Alberto Del Rio and World Heavyweight Champion Mark Henry vs. C.M. Punk and The Big Show

This match covers a total of THREE of my pet peeves in the WWE today.  First, two world champions.  The World Championship tier should be one man alone who is considered the best of them all.  With two of these titles, both of them are insanely de-valued.  When history looks back at this, nobody will know who truly was top dog during this time.  Sure, it’s implied that the WWE Championship is held to a higher regard than the World Heavyweight Championship, but the World Heavyweight Title picture ends up being not only more entertaining in my book, but holds a less “for the sake of publicity” air about it.  The second pet peeve?  The World Champion, whomever it may be, billed under another match.  No matter what, if you have the top prize in the industry, you should be one of the two main events with the other world tier championship as the other.  I don’t care if you have The President of the United States and the World Series MVP against the Prime Minister of Canada and Jackie Chan.  The declared best in the world gets top billing.  The third pet peeve?  One of the superstars billed ahead is either John Cena or Randy Orton.  I can forgive it if it were Triple H since he married into the family for such a reason (if you believe such tales), or The Undertaker as the longest tenured superstar on the roster and inarguably the most celebrated, but for the world champions to be undercarded for the WWE’s poster boys really rubs me the wrong way.  I’d be more forgiving if it were a grudge match with a special stipulation or something like that, but for more of the CenOrton Circle really bugs me.  Anyway, Del Rio and Henry win a pretty decent match.  Glad to see they don’t make the champions look like total chumps.

Santino Marella comes out and talks about how he almost won the Royal Rumble in this very building earlier in the year.  Nash comes out, plays nice, and power bombs Santino.  He talks about how he’s still here and Triple H isn’t, referring to his attack on The Game a couple weeks ago.  Basically, build-up for their eventual match.  Not bad, but it still felt pretty weird.  Still cool to hear the old New World Order theme again, though I still prefer the Wolfpac’s entrance music by comparison.

Jonah Hill will be the guest star next week.  I do not care and it’ll probably be more of the same.  Advertisement for stuff typical WWE fans don’t care about and stupid comedy skits.

Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

Since Wade Barrett won the previous SmackDown on Friday, it stood to reason that Orton would win tonight.  In a surprising twist though, Orton won by Disqualification.  This was a good thing as it keeps Barrett up as a legitimate threat to Team Orton.  The match was pretty good, particularly on Barrett’s part.  Orton, however, has begun to fall into the Cena trap.  Predictable moves and a predictable pattern.  On the up side, at least he tries to use other moves, even if they are generally rest holds.  The two teams brawl, ending our main event.

The final segment was The Rock FINALLY showing up after two hours and 48 minutes of a Raw that was themed just for him.  What does he do?  He cuts a decent promo and joins with Cena to take on The Awesome Truth.  He Rock Bottoms both of them and… that’s pretty much it.  He shows Cena up and leaves.  Great.  Way to build up Awesome Truth as a legitimate threat to Cena and Rock.  Well, Miz beat Cena the other week, so I guess it isn’t so bad for this week.  But this really speaks to the weakness of the double brand.  Now instead of having ten shows to build up a match, you get five shows for new content with five for recaps.  This match just didn’t have enough support story and The Rock was here for too little leading up.

Also, WWE, will you STOP WITH THE TWITTER PIMPING?!  I don’t care what’s trending worldwide on Twitter for 30 seconds before the new cult movie that’s airing on some obscure channel or whatever is happening on Monday Night Football overtakes it.  Although, I will admit, “Cena’s Lady Parts” trending is pretty funny.

Raw was a huge disappointment and being three hours, it felt like it dragged.  The matches ranged from average to aweful made no better by the fact that the theme of “Raw Gets Rocked” amounted to one promo and one Rock Bottom.  The best thing about the night was the return of Mick Foley.  The worst thing was a tie between another terrible Diva’s match and an entirely worthless opening that made weeks worth of buildup feel like a waste of time made simply to either piss off the fans or stroke Cole’s ego.  Or, maybe JR just has a secret fettish for being made a joke out of on national television.  Then again, tonight in particular, he seems to have fun with it more times than not so, why fault a man for doing what he loves, right?

I give Monday Night Raw for November 14, 2011… one and a half out of five stars.

Now onto what I believe to be the better show between the two, Friday Night SmackDown!

Friday Night SmackDown from Bridgeport, Conn.:  November 18, 2011

This SmackDown was much better than Raw by comparison.  I don’t know if it’s because SmackDown has better performers in general or if it’s because, being edited, they can make it look better in post-recording.  Yeah, for those who don’t know, SmackDown is actually recorded on Tuesdays, typically.  It can be pretty funny to hear someone talk about what happened “during the week” or “on Wednesday” during the Tuesday recording.  I find it very amusing when I go to SmackDown tapings.

Anyway, we begin off with a bang.  Mark Henry delivering a massive beat down on Internet favorite Daniel Bryan, Mr. Money in the Bank and one of the single most talented wrestlers in the world today.  Mark Henry talks about his blood feud with The Big Show, beats down Daniel Bryan some more, and leaves.  What was most amusing to me was that SmackDown commentator Josh Mathews talks about how no SmakDown has ever began like that.  Not only can I think of at least one other SmackDown that began like that, I can think of at least FIVE WCW Nitros and Thunders that began like that.

Yeah, in case you haven’t figured it out, I miss WCW… Even in the worst of times towards the end.

Speaking of the commentating crew, by the way… Michael Cole on SmackDown… first, I don’t understand why you need him on both shows if the goal ISN’T to irritate the fans.  Second… am I the only one who detects a little bit of a racist vibe from him towards Booker T?  I know Booker’s goofy sometimes, but it really seems like that Cole goes out of his way to run down and mess with him.  I get being a heel towards the face, Jesse Ventura did that with Gorilla Monson all the time (and was actually entertaining too), but… I don’t really feel comfortable half the time he does so.  I dunno, this one’s probably just me and I won’t touch on this again unless someone shares my sentiments.  Nothing particularly racial is said, but Cole’s antics really do seem less humorously evil and just more mean spirited to me here.

Anywho, first match!

United States Champion Dolph Ziggler vs. Sin Cara

Two super-talented superstars kicking off SmackDown.  Good stuff here.  Ziggler is on top of his game as usual and Sin Cara seems to be getting more accustomed to facing WWE Superstars.  Ziggler wins and then Swagger comes to help beat down their Survivor Series match opponent down some more.  Mason Ryan makes the save, delivering monster air to Dolph Ziggler in one of the cooler spots in recent weeks.  I swear, he could have gotten thrown over a ladder in a ladder match with the kind of hang time he got.  This all leads to…
 

Mason Ryan vs. Jack Swagger

Mason’s green as usual, but Swagger does enough to make this match better than what it probably should be.  Yes, Ryan’s in-ring skills leave a lot to be desired, but I’m willing to let him work out his kinks.  I just hope he gets a lot of in-ring time during house shows to figure himself out and that he’s picking the brains of other big men in the company like Sheamus.  Ryan gets the win.

Christian cut a promo at this point where he basically continued this “complainer” gimmick he’s been shafted with.  It’s sad because it seems like he’s become a straw man for himself for what the WWE Universe’s “smart” fans (smart being a term used to describe fans who think they’re in the know with the inner workings of the business).  It seems he’s existed for putting over superstars who are already over, like Randy Orton and Sheamus, who have repeatedly beaten him in admittedly good matches over the course of the summer.  Funny that the WWE would pull something like that with one of their more popular superstars, eh?  Anyway, he’s in a leg brace for a legit injury he suffered in Europe and a kayfabe (fake) neckbrace from what the Big Show did to him a while back.  He yells at the WWE Universe and left.  Good heel promo.  I hope his feud with SmackDown General Manager Theodore Long goes into something big.  Honestly?  I’m ready for some change at the SmackDown healm.

 

Ted DiBiase vs. Derrick Bateman w/Maxine

Derrick Bateman was a face on NXT Season 4 and was generally pretty funny who subtly turned heel and began an engagement angle with Maxine.  Ted DiBiase was a heel in years past who used to be the “rich kid” who subtly turned face and began hanging out with fans in the parking lot.  A stretch of a parallel, I know, but still… anyway, an average match, an abrupt end, not much to say.  Have I mentioned I haven’t cared much for NXT since they brought Bateman in and it became painfully clear they had no idea what they were going to do with this season?

The Big Show was prowling around backstage.  We see him visit Daniel Bryan in the trainer’s room… who was being attended to by A.J. Lee, rookie Diva and geek goddess.  Y’know, I’d totally let myself get beaten to a pulp by Mark Henry if it meant a bedside visit by A.J. later.  Damn, WWE Superstars have a good medical plan.  All kidding aside, we also get Big Show running into stock heels Tyson Kidd and Jinder Mihal, leading to the latter being punched out by Big Show in a genuinely humorous moment.  I don’t know if the sound the hit made was piped in later, but it really made it for me.  Fun stuff.  Big Show predicts he’ll win at Survivor Series in a cliché promo, next scene.

Kofi Kingston vs. Hunico

I really hope we haven’t seen the last of Epico, because a deeper roster is what the WWE needs.  Yes, they have other Superstars in waiting, but seeing new guys, or someone who hasn’t been in the spotlight for a while, is always welcome.  Anyway, solid outing, Kofi wins, and we get some referee controversy again.  Since it screws over the heel, the typical fan won’t care as much.  This’ll probably come back to haunt Theodore Long later, though.

Diva’s Champion Beth Phoenix and Natalya vs. AJ and Kaitlyn

Pretty much a squash match, but it goes to show why I prefer SmackDown over Raw most of the time.  Even though it was a squash, they really put some effort into this one and it was infinitely better than the quickie beer run match we had on Raw.  Natalya puts a nasty Sharpshooter on AJ for the win.  After the match, it looks like we’re getting our first signs of an AJ and Kaitlyn split… and nobody will care.
 

Randy Orton and Sheamus vs. Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes and Wade Barrett

A solid main event to SmackDown to preview the 5-on-5 Survivor Series-style match for Sunday.  We had interference by Christian, who was supposed to be on Team Barrett originally, but was scratched from it due to his ankle injury.  Orton and Sheamus get the win by Disqualification wen Christian cold-clocks Sheamus with his crutch.  All hell breaks loose, Orton and Sheamus make a comeback, beat down the heels, Christian runs off, and the fans go home happy for the night.

SmackDown was solid as usual.  The matches get the benefit of not worrying as much about time constraints from not being live.  Therefore, the matches bad spots can be edited out, partially thanks to some clever directing in the ring, and everyone can cut loose for the most part.  Even the Divas tend to get marginally more respect here than they would on Raw.  The only down side is that some of the stupid things that happen in the WWE in general DO affect SmackDown too, including generally bad Divas matches, dumb angles, and poster boy-thumping.  Still, it’s the lesser of two evils.

I give Friday Night Smackdown for November 18, 2011… Two and a half out of five stars.  Solid stuff, but not as good as a show leading into one of the four big pay-per-views of the year should be.

Now, when we have a pay-per-view coming up, I like to make predictions for the show.  These are my own dumb thoughts and I hope you have fun counting how many I get wrong.

 

Graveheart’s Predictions for Survivor Series on November 20, 2011

Diva’s Championship Lumberjill Match:  Champion Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres
This match was made to supposedly give the impression that Beth Phoenix will lose her championship thanks to the numbers being on Eve’s side… which is stupid.  Beth Phoenix has Natalya on her side, but Eve has Kelly Kelly and Alicia on her’s.  The numbers game is taken care of, even if Natalya and Beth have more in-ring ability than TEN sets of Kelly/Alicia/Eve alliances.  Anyway, I’m picking Beth Phoenix to retain in this one.  It seems like they’re trying to push Alicia and I can’t help but feel the recent #1 Contender’s battle royal had her fall out of the ring on accident and they just improvised with Eve.  Maybe it’s a groundless theory, but I’m going with it.  Besides, if Beth loses… who challenges next?  Natalya’s been billed as incompetent lately and the Bellas can’t wrestle worth a lick.  So, I think Beth retains.

Classic Survivor Series Match:  Team Barrett (Wade Barrett, Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes, Hunico, Jack Swagger, and United States Champion Dolph Ziggler) vs. Team Orton (Randy Orton, Kofi Kingston, Sheamus, Mason Ryan, and Sin Cara)

I think Team Barrett goes over in this one based on the push Barrett’s getting.  Mind you, the push could only be so Orton gets his annual ego-boost, so, who knows, really.  This one can go either way, but I’ll go on a whim and go Team Barrett.  Either way, this leads to…
 

United States Championship Match:  Champion Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison

I have no idea of any justification for John Morrison to get a title shot over Zach Ryder wen whatever Morrison’s done, Ryder’s done at least twice.  Probably used to get John Laurinitus over as a heel (Johnny Ace from earlier), but yeah.  With rumors of Morrison’s eventual departure, there is the opening for a swerve in this match with Morrison going over.  However, as sudden as this match came about, I’m not counting on it.  I’m picking Ziggler.
 

WWE Championship Match:  Champion Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

This is not the end of this rivalry by any stretch.  This one still has a lot of mileage to go and that’s why I’m picking CM Punk to win this match… just not the title.  It’ll probably be a disqualification so we can have these two in a ladder match or a TLC match at the next pay-per-view.  That way, the WWE Championship doesn’t get overshadowed by The Rock and Cena again… though knowing the WWE, that may happen anyway.  Heck, Cena could end up in the match and we’ll have another Triple Threat match between these three again.  Still, CM Punk for the win, just not for the title… yet.
 

World Heavyweight Championship Match:  Champion Mark Henry vs. The Big Show

This is another close one in my opinion, but I think Mark Henry goes over.  I have no real basis for it and no real idea why he’d go over in this match.  It’s just a straight guess on my part.
 

The Rock and John Cena vs. The Awesome Truth

I’m going to predict that R-Truth and The Miz get the victory in this one to pump up the one-on-one match Rock and Cena will have at WrestleMania.  I predict that these two will implode and we’ll get our first glimpse of these two competing in the ring against one another… and boy will it be painful.  Listen, here’s the Truth, no pun intended.  I’m not looking forward to John Cena vs. The Rock.  Neither one can really wrestle.  Rock can put on a show… but that’s all these two have.  Unless we get instances of “The People’s Water,” and consistent high spots… I think this match between these two is going to be a huge bust and a massive blow to the WWE, even though WrestleMania will be a financial success.  But, I’m getting off track.  Yeah, I’m picking Awesome Truth for the sake of pushing the feud between The Rock and John Cena.

So, that’s it for the WWEekly Wrap-Up.  I’ll try to make these better in the future.  If you have any suggestions, please share them with me.

Until next time, this has been Master Graveheart, tagging out…